Starting childcare is one of the biggest transitions your child will experience in their early years. Whether your little one is six months old or approaching preschool age, settling into childcare can take time, patience, and a plan.
The good news is that most children settle well with the right support. Research consistently shows that quality early childhood education benefits children’s social, emotional and cognitive development. But knowing that doesn’t always make the first few weeks easier.
At Kiddie Garden Childcare in Parramatta, we’ve supported hundreds of families through this transition. We’ve seen every type of settler, from babies who adapt within days to toddlers who need a longer, gentler runway. What we’ve learned is that every child is different, and the settling techniques that work best are the ones tailored to your child’s age, temperament and individual needs.
This guide covers everything you need to know about settling your child into childcare, with age-specific advice and practical strategies you can use from the very first visit.
Before Your Child Starts: Laying the Groundwork
Settling into childcare begins well before the first official day. The preparation you do in the weeks leading up to the start date sets the tone for the entire transition.
Book an Orientation Visit
Most quality centres in NSW offer orientation visits before your child’s start date. At Kiddie Garden, we encourage families to schedule as many visits as you need, so your child can begin to associate the centre with positive experiences while you’re still present.
During these visits, let your child explore at their own pace. Sit on the floor with them. Watch how educators interact with the other children. Pay attention to what catches your child’s interest, whether it’s the sandpit, the book corner, the water play table or the art area. Share these observations with the educators so they can use those interests to help your child feel welcome on their first day.
Try to visit at different times of day if possible. Seeing the morning routine, a mealtime and an outdoor play session gives both you and your child a fuller picture of what each day will look like.
Talk About Childcare Positively
In the days and weeks before your child starts, talk about childcare in a relaxed, positive way. You don’t need to oversell it, but your tone matters. Children are remarkably attuned to their parents’ emotions, and if you sound anxious or uncertain, they’ll pick up on that.
For toddlers and preschoolers, keep it simple. “You’re going to play at Kiddie Garden tomorrow. There’s a big sandpit and lots of painting.” For babies, your calm and consistent demeanour during orientation visits does the talking for you.
Avoid saying things like “you’ll be fine” or “don’t cry.” These phrases, while well-intentioned, dismiss your child’s feelings. Instead, try “I know it feels different. Your educators will look after you, and I’ll be back after afternoon tea.”
Practise Short Separations at Home
If your child hasn’t spent much time away from you, practise short separations before childcare begins. Leave them with a grandparent, trusted friend or partner for gradually longer periods. This helps your child build confidence that you always come back.
For babies, even 30 minutes with another caregiver builds that foundation. For toddlers, a few hours at a playgroup or with family members can make the childcare transition feel less abrupt.
Prepare Everything the Night Before
On the morning of the first day, you’ll likely feel more emotional and scattered than usual. Take that pressure off by packing your child’s bag, laying out their clothes and preparing their water bottle.
We’ve put together a detailed guide on what to pack for daycare that covers everything from nappies and cot sheets to a water bottle for your child. The key tip: label everything! In a room with 15 children, unmarked items quickly become lost. We have a marker available at the centre for your use.
Settling Babies Into Childcare (Birth to 12 Months)
Settling babies into childcare often worries parents the most, but babies can adapt beautifully when their routines and comfort cues are respected.
Share Your Baby’s Routines in Detail
Before your baby starts, give their educators as much detail as possible about their daily patterns. When do they usually sleep? How do they like to be settled for naps? Do they take a bottle or are they breastfed? What are their tired cues? Do they have a particular way they like to be held or rocked?
Quality centres will use this information to mirror your baby’s home routines as closely as possible during the settling period. At Kiddie Garden, our nursery educators take detailed notes from families and work to maintain the feeding and sleeping rhythms your baby is used to. We also have a private breastfeeding area for your convenience.
Bring Comfort Items
A muslin that smells like you, a familiar dummy, or a small comforter toy can make a significant difference for babies settling into a new environment. Familiar scents and objects provide sensory continuity between home and care.
Some parents find it helpful to sleep with a muslin cloth for a night or two before their baby starts, so it carries a comforting scent.
Start With Shorter Days
If your schedule allows, begin with shorter days and gradually extend them. A baby who comes for the morning session and is picked up after lunch has time to adjust without becoming overtired or overwhelmed by a full day in a new environment.
Most babies need around four to six weeks to feel truly settled, though some adapt more quickly. Babies who attend two or more days per week tend to settle faster than those attending one day, because the gaps between visits are shorter and the environment stays fresh in their memory.
Breastfeeding and Childcare
If you’re breastfeeding, you can send expressed milk for your baby’s feeds. We also welcome breastfeeding mothers to visit during the day to feed their baby if that works for your schedule. This can be a wonderful way to help your baby feel connected during the early settling period.
Settling a Toddler Into Daycare (12 Months to 3 Years)
Settling a toddler into daycare is often the most emotionally intense transition for families. Toddlers understand enough to know you’re leaving but don’t yet have the language or emotional regulation skills to fully process those feelings.
This is completely normal developmental behaviour. It doesn’t mean your child isn’t ready for childcare or that something is wrong. It means they love you and feel safe enough with you to express big emotions.
Create a Consistent Goodbye Routine
One of the most effective settling techniques for toddlers is a consistent, brief goodbye ritual. This might look like two big cuddles and a kiss on the nose, a special wave from the window, or a phrase you say every time like “I love you, I’ll be back after afternoon tea.”
Whatever you choose, do the same thing every single day. Predictability gives toddlers a sense of control in an otherwise unfamiliar situation. When they know exactly what happens at drop-off, they can begin to anticipate what comes next, and that builds confidence over time.
Keep Drop-Off Short and Confident
Long, drawn-out goodbyes are harder on toddlers. When you linger at the door, your child reads that as hesitation, which feeds their own anxiety.
Say your goodbye, hand your child to their educator if needed, and leave. Yes, even if they’re crying. In most cases, toddlers settle within minutes of their parent leaving. Educators are experienced in redirecting children to a favourite activity, offering a cuddle or using distraction to help the moment pass.
Never sneak away while your child is distracted. This might avoid tears in the moment, but it breaks trust. Your toddler needs to know that you always say goodbye and that you always come back.
Expect Regression Before Progress
A common pattern with toddlers is that day one goes surprisingly well, then days two through four become much harder. The novelty has worn off and your child now understands what drop-off means.
This is not a step backwards. It’s a sign that your toddler is processing the transition, which is cognitively healthy. Stay consistent with your routine and trust the process. For most toddlers attending two or more days per week, the settling period takes around four to six weeks.
You might also notice changes at home during this period. Increased clinginess, disrupted sleep, appetite changes, more tantrums or emotional outbursts. These are all signs that your toddler is working hard to adjust to a big change. Offer extra patience and connection during the evenings and weekends.
Use Books and Play to Prepare Them
Toddlers process the world through play and story. Reading books about starting childcare can help normalise the experience. Australian titles like Starting School by Jane Godwin or The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn address separation in age-appropriate ways.
You can also play “daycare” at home. Set up a pretend drop-off with stuffed animals, practise waving goodbye and then reuniting. This kind of role play gives toddlers a sense of what to expect and lets them rehearse their feelings in a safe space.
Settling Children Into Childcare at Preschool Age (3 to 5 Years)
Preschool-aged children have the advantage of language and understanding. They can talk about their feelings, ask questions and engage with explanations about what childcare will involve. However, that doesn’t always make settling straightforward.
Some preschoolers dive in with enthusiasm, thrilled at the prospect of new friends and activities. Others are more cautious, preferring to observe before participating. Both responses are perfectly normal.
Involve Them in the Preparation
Let your preschooler help pack their bag, choose their hat and pick out their water bottle. Giving them ownership over the practical elements helps them feel a sense of control. You could even take them shopping for a new water bottle or backpack to mark the occasion.
Talk through the structure of the day in terms they understand. “First you’ll have morning tea, then you’ll play outside, then there’s lunch, then rest time, then more playing, then I’ll come and get you.” Knowing the sequence of events reduces anxiety about the unknown.
Acknowledge Their Feelings Without Fixing Them
If your preschooler says they’re nervous, scared or don’t want to go, validate their feeling before offering reassurance. For example, you could say something like “It makes sense to feel nervous about something new. That’s a really normal feeling.”
Then you can add reassurance. “Your educators are kind and they’ll help you. And I’ll be back to pick you up at 4 o’clock.” This two-step approach lets children know their emotions are valid while gently pointing towards safety and predictability.
Social Connections Help
If possible, help your preschooler connect with another child at the centre before their start date. Even one familiar face in the room can make a significant difference. At Kiddie Garden, we use a buddy system to help children bond until they build more confidence. We also encourage learning all about our families, and sharing photos from home which give children a connection between home and preschool.
Here is an example from our junior preschool room (Butterfly Buddies).
Settling Techniques That Work Across All Ages
Regardless of your child’s age, certain settling techniques are consistently effective. These strategies work because they address the core of what children need during transitions: security, predictability and connection.
Be consistent with your routine. Same drop-off time, same goodbye ritual, same pick-up time. Consistency is the single most powerful settling tool you have. Children feel safer when they know what to expect, and routines remove the uncertainty that fuels anxiety.
Always say goodbye. Never leave without telling your child. Even if they’re happily playing and you’re tempted to slip out, say a quick goodbye. Sneaking away can feel like a betrayal to a young child and makes future drop-offs harder, not easier.
Communicate with your child’s educators. Share what’s happening at home that might affect your child’s mood or behaviour. A bad night’s sleep, a new sibling, a change in family routine, teething, illness recovery. This information helps educators respond sensitively and anticipate your child’s needs. At Kiddie Garden, we encourage open, ongoing dialogue between families and educators through daily handovers and our online communication program.
Call the centre if you’re worried. If your child was upset at drop-off, it’s completely reasonable to phone the centre an hour later to ask how they’re going. At Kiddie Garden, we welcome these calls. In most cases, you’ll hear that your child settled within minutes and is happily playing.
Avoid over-questioning at pick-up. Resist the urge to ask “Did you have fun? Were you sad? Did you miss me?” Young children often can’t articulate their day on demand. Instead, let them decompress. Information tends to come out at unexpected moments, during bath time, in the car, or right before bed.
Build connection time into your evenings. After a day apart, your child needs to reconnect with you. This doesn’t have to be elaborate. Reading together, a game in the backyard, extra cuddles before bed. That quality reconnection time reassures children that the parent-child bond is strong and unchanged.
The First Month: What to Expect Week by Week
Week 1: Everything is new. Your child may be excited, overwhelmed, or a mixture of both. Expect tears at drop-off for some children and surprising independence from others. Sleep and appetite may be disrupted. This is all normal.
Week 2: Often the hardest week. The novelty has worn off and the reality of the routine has set in. Drop-offs may become more emotional. Children sometimes get their first childcare cold around this time as their immune system adjusts to a group environment.
Weeks 3 and 4: Gradual improvement. Your child begins to recognise routines, bond with educators and form early friendships. Drop-offs become a little smoother. You might hear your child mention an educator’s name or talk about an activity they enjoyed. Home routines begin to stabilise.
Beyond Week 4: Most children who attend two or more days per week have found their rhythm by now. Some children, particularly those attending one day per week or those with more sensitive temperaments, may need six to eight weeks or longer. That’s okay. Settling is not a race.
When Settling Isn’t Going as Expected
While most children settle within four to eight weeks, some need additional support. Signs that you should talk to your child’s educators about adjusting the settling plan include:
Your child is still distressed for extended periods after drop-off (not just a few minutes of crying). Their eating, sleeping or behaviour at home has significantly deteriorated without improvement over several weeks. They’re showing signs of regression in developmental milestones. They have become withdrawn or are not engaging with educators or other children at all.
These signs don’t necessarily mean childcare isn’t right for your child. They may indicate that the settling approach needs to be adjusted, perhaps more gradual transitions, a different drop-off time, or a change in the educator your child is bonding with.
This is where smaller, independent centres often have an advantage. At Kiddie Garden, we can adjust settling plans quickly and individually because we know every child and family by name. We don’t follow a rigid corporate settling policy. We respond to your child’s cues and work with you to find what helps.
If you’re ever concerned about your child’s wellbeing in care, trust your instincts and raise it with the centre. A good centre will listen and collaborate with you to find a solution.
A Note for Parents: Your Feelings Matter Too
We’ve focused on your child’s settling experience, but yours matters too. It’s common for parents to feel guilt, sadness, anxiety or grief when leaving their child in care for the first time. You might feel tearful in the car after drop-off or question whether you’re doing the right thing.
These feelings are valid and they don’t mean you’ve made the wrong decision. They mean you love your child deeply and this transition is significant for you both.
Give yourself the same grace you would give your child. Settling into childcare is a family experience, not just a child’s experience. It takes time for everyone to adjust to new routines, new relationships and a new way of doing things.
At Kiddie Garden, our door is always open. If you need reassurance, want to call and check on your child, or simply need to talk to someone who understands, our educators are here for you as much as they’re here for your child. That’s what family-centred care means.
How We Observe and Communicate During Settling at Kiddie Garden
At Kiddie Garden, settling isn’t something we leave to chance. Our educators observe each child closely during the transition period and share detailed documentation with families so you can see exactly how your child is progressing.
Here’s a real example from one of our toddler room observations (with the child’s name removed for privacy):
"During drop-off, she can be a little emotional when her dad says goodbye. She may cry or hold on tightly. With support from a familiar educator, she is able to calm down within 1 to 10 minutes. A gentle cuddle and a soft voice help her feel safe and ready to begin her day.
Once settled, she enjoys outdoor play, chasing bubbles with her biggest smiles. She moves around with confidence and excitement, showing curiosity and joy. During group times, she sits on the mat with the other children and listens quietly. When an educator asks a question, she responds with a smile or a nod, showing she is engaged and comfortable in the group setting.
Indoors, she is increasingly drawn to the construction corner, where she enjoys working on puzzles alongside her friends. She shows focus and determination as she fits the pieces together."
This observation is linked to the Early Years Learning Framework outcomes for identity, wellbeing and confident learning, and includes an analysis of the child’s attachment development and a plan for next steps. The family receives this documentation so they can see not just what their child did during the day, but how their educators are thinking about their child’s growth and responding to their needs.
This is the kind of personalised attention that makes a real difference during settling. When educators know your child well enough to write about their favourite activity, their comfort cues and their social progress, you can trust that your child is being seen, understood and supported.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal for a toddler to cry at daycare drop off?
It is normal for toddlers to cry at daycare drop-off. Crying at separation is a healthy sign that your child has a strong attachment to you, not a sign that something is wrong. Most toddlers settle within five to ten minutes of their parent leaving. This behaviour is most common between 12 and 24 months when children understand that you’re leaving but don’t yet have the emotional regulation skills to manage those feelings calmly. A consistent, confident goodbye routine helps.
What is the hardest age to start daycare?
The hardest age to start daycare is generally between 12 and 18 months. At this stage, toddlers are old enough to understand that their parent is leaving but don’t yet have the language or emotional tools to process those feelings. Separation anxiety also tends to peak during this period. The age you start matters less than the quality of the centre, the consistency of the settling approach and how well educators respond to your child’s individual needs.
Is it better for toddlers to go to daycare or stay home?
Whether a toddler goes to daycare or stays home depends on your family’s circumstances, and both options can support healthy development. Research shows that quality early childhood education benefits toddlers’ social skills, language development and school readiness. Children in group care learn to share, take turns and build friendships earlier than they might at home. However, the key word is quality. A toddler in a well-run centre with qualified, responsive educators and low ratios will thrive. A toddler with a loving, engaged caregiver at home will also thrive. What matters most is that your child has consistent, warm relationships with the adults who care for them, wherever that care takes place.
How do I know if my toddler is unhappy at daycare?
Signs that your toddler may be unhappy at daycare include persistent changes in behaviour at home such as increased clinginess, sleep disruption, appetite changes or regression in skills they had previously mastered. We will closely monitor your child and report to you their engagement with educators and other children, participation in activities, and if we have any concerns. Some unsettled behaviour in the first four to six weeks is normal as your child adjusts.
Ready to Start the Journey?
Every child’s settling journey is different, and the best childcare centres meet your child where they are. At Kiddie Garden in Parramatta, we take the time to get to know your child and your family before the first day even begins.
Book an orientation visit to see our centre, meet our educators and start building the relationship that will support your child’s transition into care. Call us on 9890 8129 or complete our contact form to get started.